Therapy Services
Individual Therapy
Life can get complicated. You may not even know the specific issue you need to work on, but something isn’t working. I’ll work alongside you to develop healthy coping responses and stress management skills. I use the modalities of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Schema Therapy (ST) to help heal parts of you that have learned to cope for emotional survival purposes.
Specifically, I work with:
Bettering communication with partner
Abuse and Trauma
Boundary Setting
Grief and Loss
Surviving and understanding your partner/family’s personality disorders or mental illnesses
Career issues: job shifts, assertiveness, stress management, purpose, etc.
Anxiety
Light Depression
Lack of confidence
Identity issues
Codependence
Dating and relationship problems
Exploration into personality, energy systems, and consciousness
Couples Therapy
Couples go through the same cycle of conflict, over-and-over. The pattern almost feels addictive. You may even try a different tactic, but you end up in the same cycle, either leading to feeling alone and unprioritized or unaccepted and hopeless. leading to more hopelessness.
In therapy, I provide a safe environment for each person to be heard, understood, and connected. I believe every issue is important. I’ll work with both of you on improving your individual communication patterns to better serve yourself and your partner. I’ll use the modality of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help rebuild healthy attachment. Here are common relational themes I can help detangle:
Cultural and Religious Differences
Codependence and Boundaries
Integrating Personality Types
Masculine/Feminine Dynamics
Communication
Anger
Addictions
Emotional abuse
Stuck cycles
Dan’s Story
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung
I had considered myself highly self-aware, especially when it came to my identity. Then I began working with schemas on a personal level. I had no idea the grip that unseen narratives were having on my professional life, friendships, and relationships. In making the unconscious conscious, I also realized I had way more power than I thought.
I’ve always had a gift of seeing people’s truest selves and potential. However, there are roadblocks that keep us from being who we were created to be. I’m sure you’ve felt that before—that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you keep running into the same issues. If so, your unconscious might be directing your life. Schema therapy provides a robust framework for discerning and healing specific roadblocks that keep you from your best self. It helps you get unstuck.
My greatest joy is working with and witnessing my clients experience full freedom in their true identities. In the therapy room, you will always be seen and heard. It’d be an honor to work together.
Feel free to contact me for a complimentary 10-15 minute consultation. We can see if we’d be a good fit.
What is Schema Therapy?
In therapy, we’ll focus on what is most healthy. That won’t necessarily be what’s most comfortable. Often, we’ve developed comfortable lenses that have served to protect our core identity. Those are schemas. Over time, we’ve come to believe our schemas are our reality, or identity.
Your identity—or your self-concept—has power. You will always think, feel, and act according to what you most deeply believe about yourself. If you wind up having the same pattern of thoughts, feelings, and actions, you might actually be confused at how you see yourself. It’s more common than you’d think. Our patterns are unconscious. Without uncovering false identities and rewiring unconscious patterns, experiencing your freest version of you is impossible. Depression, stress, anger, and addictions are common placeholders to cope.
Here’s an example of a schema in action. If I was abandoned at a young age, I will likely develop an abandonment schema. I will then unconsciously:
a.) surrender to the schema - find relationships in which people abandon me (i.e. “See, every person close to me just leaves me),
b.) avoid the schema - abandon meaningful relationships all together (i.e. “I’m in too busy of a season to invest right now”), or
c.) overcompensate to the schema - create unrealistic reasons to abandon potentially healthy relationships (i.e. “I had to cut ties; they wanted too much attention”).
Or it could be a combination of these patterns. Each unconscious coping strategy will reinforce the feeling of abandonment. The schema will not be healed—it’ll persist.
Dr. Jeffrey Young has identified 18 types of schemas. We all have multiple schemas running in the background all the time. They drain energy, and inhibit functioning at work and in relationships.
An Introduction to Schemas
Recently I was the guest on the Energy Matters podcast with David Gandelman and Cody Edner. We sat down and talked about Schema Therapy, identifying childhood wounds, and the process of healing as an adult. Here you will find some examples of common schemas, as well as some practical tips and resources helpful for those interested in learning more about the power of schema therapy. Feel free to check it out!
Dan’s San Diego Locations
*Dan does Telehealth on Tuesday and Thursday, but currently has limited availability at all locations.