Feeling stuck? I can help.


 
 

Hi, I’m Dan. I’m a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist practicing in San Diego, California. I work with individuals, couples, and families, giving them the tools they need to move from a state of stuckness to a state of hope, health, and freedom.

 
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Therapy Services

 

Individuals

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Life is complicated and often, it may take time to realize that we need to seek help with issues we're facing. We’ve been going through the motions, but something isn’t working. I can work along-side you to develop healthy coping and stress management skills to manage what life has handed you. Specifically, I work with:

  • Abuse and Trauma

  • Addictions

  • Grief and Loss

  • Career Issues: assertiveness, stress management, purpose, calling, etc.

  • Depression and anxiety

  • Identity issues

  • Co-dependency and Boundaries

  • Dating and relationship problems

 
 

Couples

Couples commonly go through the same cycle of conflict, over-and-over. The pattern almost becomes addictive. Even in a committed relationship, you can feel alone if you’re not on the same page. In therapy, I provide a safe environment for each person to be heard and understood. I believe every issue is important. I’ll work with both of you on improving your individual communication patterns to better serve your partner, and in turn, the relationship. I have a variety of tools to prevent the life-draining cycles and to help you get your relationship back on track. Here are common themes I work with:

  • Working through infidelity

  • Co-dependency and Boundaries

  • Differences in Culture, Values, Spirituality, Gender roles, Personality, etc.

  • Communication

  • Anger

  • Addictions

  • Abuse

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Families

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Every family is distinct and unique in how they function and coexist. Sometimes when those issues arise, therapy isn’t the easiest choice, but it’s the healthiest. Families go through all sorts of transition periods, which create anxiety. That’s normal. However, you may need some extra guidance. I can help your family navigate issues to decrease the stress in the household. Here are some common issues that families face that I work with:

  • Mixed cultures and values

  • Non-normal and blended family structures

  • Inability to connect or effectively communicate with children

  • Life transitions:

    • New schools, teenage issues, going to college, etc.

  • Divorce and loss in family

  • Trauma and abuse

 
 

Dan’s Story

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung

I had considered myself highly self-aware, especially when it came to my identity. Then I began working with schemas on a personal level. I had no idea the grip that unseen narratives were having on my professional life, friendships, and relationships. In making the unconscious conscious, I also realized I had way more power than I thought.

I’ve always had a gift of seeing people’s truest selves and potential. However, there are roadblocks that keep us from being who we were created to be. I’m sure you’ve felt that before—that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you keep running into the same issues. If so, your unconscious might be directing your life. Schema therapy provides a robust framework for discerning and healing specific roadblocks that keep you from your best self. It helps you get unstuck.

My greatest joy is working with and witnessing my clients experience full freedom in their true identities. In the therapy room, you will always be seen and heard. It’d be an honor to work together.

Feel free to contact me for a complimentary 10-15 minute consultation. We can see if we’d be a good fit.

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What is Schema Therapy?


 
 

In therapy, we’ll focus on what is most healthy. That won’t necessarily be what’s most comfortable. Often, we’ve developed comfortable lenses that have served to protect our core identity. Those are schemas. Over time, we’ve come to believe our schemas are our reality, or identity.

Your identity—or your self-concept—has power. You will always think, feel, and act according to what you most deeply believe about yourself. If you wind up having the same pattern of thoughts, feelings, and actions, you might actually be confused at how you see yourself. It’s more common than you’d think. Our patterns are unconscious. Without uncovering false identities and rewiring unconscious patterns, experiencing your freest version of you is impossible. Depression, stress, anger, and addictions are common placeholders to cope.

Here’s an example of a schema in action. If I was abandoned at a young age, I will likely develop an abandonment schema. I will then unconsciously:

a.) surrender to the schema - find relationships in which people abandon me (i.e. “See, every person close to me just leaves me),

b.) avoid the schema - abandon meaningful relationships all together (i.e. “I’m in too busy of a season to invest right now”), or

c.) overcompensate to the schema - create unrealistic reasons to abandon potentially healthy relationships (i.e. “I had to cut ties; they wanted too much attention”).

Or it could be a combination of these patterns. Each unconscious coping strategy will reinforce the feeling of abandonment. The schema will not be healed—it’ll persist.

Dr. Jeffrey Young has identified 18 types of schemas. We all have multiple schemas running in the background all the time. They drain energy, and inhibit functioning at work and in relationships.

 

Dan’s Two San Diego Locations

 

Mission Valley Office

2851 Camino del Rio South #300
San Diego, CA 92108

(619) 940-5452

 

Carlsbad Office

325 Carlsbad Village Drive F2
Carlsbad, CA 92008

(619) 940-5452