People commonly date a partner based on preferences. A range of height and build. A shared love of sushi, acoustic playlists, or Sunday farmer’s markets. Preferences create comfort.
Go one layer deeper and we meet values—religion, work ethic, health, wellness. Shared values create stability.
In the past, comfort + stability was enough.
But not anymore.
We live from our set of values. Like grooves on a record, after enough spins, we struggle to imagine how anyone could live by another song—another code.
In relationships, both people are playing their own record. This difference in rhythm can either heal us or break us.
We often think, if only my partner understood how I operate, we’d get along better.
But it’s precisely this polarity that fuels intimacy.
Read MoreWe often make life harder than it has to be. We self-sabotage healthy choices and give energy to unhealthy choices—sometimes unknowingly but sometimes, we’ve got a clue. We trap ourselves in invisible cages.
| You might know you need to put up a boundary but feel like you can’t.
| You might meet a healthy partner but spend energy around an unhealthy one.
| You might have potential in an area but put off pursuing it.
Easy choices = a hard life. Hard choices = an easy life.
Read MoreThese days, relationships are more nuanced than ever. With nuances come role confusion, meaning, people just don’t know what to do in situations.
Who initiates? Who pays? Who calls back? Or is it a text? Perhaps a gif? Do you go to a higher level of physical intimacy if you like someone…or do you go to a lower level of physical intimacy because the relationship is special?
Read MoreIn this blog, I’m going to give you some perspective on how social media is subtly changing us individually and relationally, as well as a few healthy steps we can take in these changing times.
First, for some perspective.
Did you know that with each notification ping, flash, and buzz, the feel-good chemical of dopamine is released in your brain? Dopamine is a reward signaling that we’ve accomplished something. It helps us relax. It’s why social media is addictive; we are not accomplishing anything and receiving the good effects of it. This isn’t by accident—each part of social media has been programmed to make you stick around.
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