People commonly date a partner based on preferences. A range of height and build. A shared love of sushi, acoustic playlists, or Sunday farmer’s markets. Preferences create comfort.
Go one layer deeper and we meet values—religion, work ethic, health, wellness. Shared values create stability.
In the past, comfort + stability was enough.
But not anymore.
We live from our set of values. Like grooves on a record, after enough spins, we struggle to imagine how anyone could live by another song—another code.
In relationships, both people are playing their own record. This difference in rhythm can either heal us or break us.
We often think, if only my partner understood how I operate, we’d get along better.
But it’s precisely this polarity that fuels intimacy.
Read MoreEveryone wants better life situations.
In our bones we feel the tension from where we are to where we want to be.
In the space from where we are to where we want to be, there’s one piece missing containing two ingredients: directed energy. Without increasing your directed energy, your life can’t change its trajectory.
Directed energy is like a car. Energy is the motor, direction is the steering wheel. You can still drive if you have a partially working motor or steering wheel—but if you want to get to your desired destination, both must be fully operational.
Read MoreI’m curious, is it important for you to live with integrity to yourself?
And if so, what does it mean to live a life—no, rather, moment-to-moment—with integrity to yourself?
I’m curious, who would you be if that obstacle wasn’t in the way? who would you be if you were nurtured in the way you needed to be?
And if so, who’s to say you can’t be that version of yourself, now?
Read MoreWe often make life harder than it has to be. We self-sabotage healthy choices and give energy to unhealthy choices—sometimes unknowingly but sometimes, we’ve got a clue. We trap ourselves in invisible cages.
| You might know you need to put up a boundary but feel like you can’t.
| You might meet a healthy partner but spend energy around an unhealthy one.
| You might have potential in an area but put off pursuing it.
Easy choices = a hard life. Hard choices = an easy life.
Read MoreDid you know that we’re all struggling to achieve a higher state of consciousness?
Growing in consciousness human evolution. If you ever feel “stuck,” your soul is begging you to find a way to increase its consciousness!
Here’s my third-grade definition of consciousness and why it matters: consciousness is your ability to work through stuff. The more you work through things in your life, the more intimacy, peace, freedom, and connection you’ll experience.
Consciousness is when discomfort and adversity is experienced and reprocessed in healthy and productive ways. Our cumulative ability to work through things in different fields roughly represents our consciousness as individuals and collectives. So, how can you grow in consciousness?
Read MoreFirst, have you seen the movie Inside Out? The one where the people have all these internal characters—Anger, Sadness, Joy, Disgust, Fear—speaking to one another?
Conscious of it or not, we constantly have different parts speaking to us. They each have their own unique personality and fears. When stressed, our parts speak louder and more incessantly. Parts may be emotions like the ones in Inside Out, or they may also be thoughts, physical sensations, and bodily reactions.
Read MoreTell me, have you ever said this phrase to yourself?
“I’ll (take care of) __________ as soon as ___________ (happens).”
So this may look like:
“I’ll see a therapist as soon as I try fixing it myself first.”
“I’ll start paying off the loan as soon as I get the promotion.”
“I’ll get a nicer place as soon as I get in a relationship.”
“I’ll eat healthier as soon as I purchase that Vitamix.”
“I’ll start exercising as soon as I sign up for the 10k.”
Read MoreIn this blog, I’m going to give you some perspective on how social media is subtly changing us individually and relationally, as well as a few healthy steps we can take in these changing times.
First, for some perspective.
Did you know that with each notification ping, flash, and buzz, the feel-good chemical of dopamine is released in your brain? Dopamine is a reward signaling that we’ve accomplished something. It helps us relax. It’s why social media is addictive; we are not accomplishing anything and receiving the good effects of it. This isn’t by accident—each part of social media has been programmed to make you stick around.
Read MoreBoundaries and identity complement one another. Better knowing yourself allows you to set healthily boundaries; setting healthier boundaries allows you to know your true self.
· Decreased stress and insecurity
· Increased energy and confidence
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