At Capacity

It was the early 2000s and I was at a Denny’s.

I remember the waiter gave us some styrofoam boxes to pack our leftovers. We were confused. The waiter said their new policy was to have customers pack their leftovers. Soon after, this trend was everywhere.

The process of offloading energy, service, and cost to customers has only been increasing. Last week was another first for me: 3% fee for a credit card… for servicing my car! From every angle we’re being commoditized.

Without our consent, we’ve had to pick up the pieces—but we’ve got limits on what our souls can handle. Each added responsibility increases pressure within. Everyone feels it.

The bottom line?

People are at capacity.

Take the Confusion Out of Relationships | Couples Therapy San Diego

We are living in an age of poor values, capricious words, and large egos. People aren’t as sure as to what they stand for, therefore, there’s no wonder there’s an incongruence between words and actions. With a lack of character, you know how people are defining themselves?

INTENTIONS.

Most of the time, these intentions are good as well. However, how many times have you become harmed by someone’s “good” intentions?

So what do you do? In a crazy age, how do you take the confusion out of relationships? It’s actually pretty simple: just look at actions.

Social Media and Relationships | Couples Therapy San Diego

In this blog, I’m going to give you some perspective on how social media is subtly changing us individually and relationally, as well as a few healthy steps we can take in these changing times.

First, for some perspective.

Did you know that with each notification ping, flash, and buzz, the feel-good chemical of dopamine is released in your brain? Dopamine is a reward signaling that we’ve accomplished something. It helps us relax. It’s why social media is addictive; we are not accomplishing anything and receiving the good effects of it. This isn’t by accident—each part of social media has been programmed to make you stick around.

Dating: Values vs. Preferences | Couples Therapy San Diego

Dating has gotten complex to say the least. And while there’s never a simple solution to complex issues, I’ll propose a starting place: I’d like to clarify Values vs. Preferences. Especially in Western society, it’s culturally validated to treat dates, relationships, and marriages according to desired preferences as opposed to inherent values.

Value (n): the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
Preference (n): a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.

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