Your Terracotta Moment | San Diego Therapy

Have you ever repotted a plant?
It’s an odd little ritual.

Sometimes the roots slip right out—clean, easy, cooperative.
But other times, the plant’s withered fingers grasp the pot’s interior for dear life. You must pre-water the soil, pry gently along the edges, coaxing it loose. Eventually, you cup the plant’s wispy buttocks and lift—presenting it to the world like a baby Simba. (At least, that’s how I do it.)

The contrast is apparent.
Above soil: vibrant greenery, stretching toward the light.
Below: a web of roots, tangled and clumped dusty computer cables.
The plant looks alive and wants to expand, but there’s literally no room for growth. It’s been stuck—unable to grow—perhaps for a long time.

Navigating Healthy Relationships in Modern Times | San Diego Couples Therapist

People commonly date a partner based on preferences. A range of height and build. A shared love of sushi, acoustic playlists, or Sunday farmer’s markets. Preferences create comfort.

Go one layer deeper and we meet values—religion, work ethic, health, wellness. Shared values create stability.

In the past, comfort + stability was enough.
But not anymore.

Directed Energy: Part I | San Diego Therapy

Everyone wants better life situations.

In our bones we feel the tension from where we are to where we want to be.

In the space from where we are to where we want to be, there’s one piece missing containing two ingredients: directed energy. Without increasing your directed energy, your life can’t change its trajectory.

Directed energy is like a car. Energy is the motor, direction is the steering wheel. You can still drive if you have a partially working motor or steering wheel—but if you want to get to your desired destination, both must be fully operational.

What Future Will You Choose to Rehearse? | San Diego Therapy

In lower consciousness, you react.
In moderate consciousness, you respond.
In higher consciousness, you rehearse.

To flow in the highest stage of consciousness, I’ll share a secret from Michael Phelps, winner of an unprecedented twenty-three Olympic gold medals. When I heard the aftermath of a particular race at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Summer Games, I was mesmerized.

Why Consciousness Matters: III

Did you know that we’re all struggling to achieve a higher state of consciousness?

Growing in consciousness human evolution. If you ever feel “stuck,” your soul is begging you to find a way to increase its consciousness!

Here’s my third-grade definition of consciousness and why it matters: consciousness is your ability to work through stuff. The more you work through things in your life, the more intimacy, peace, freedom, and connection you’ll experience.

Consciousness is when discomfort and adversity is experienced and reprocessed in healthy and productive ways. Our cumulative ability to work through things in different fields roughly represents our consciousness as individuals and collectives. So, how can you grow in consciousness?

consciousness, spiral dynamics, unstuckDan LoneyJuly 26, 2022Comment

Take the Confusion Out of Relationships | Couples Therapy San Diego

We are living in an age of poor values, capricious words, and large egos. People aren’t as sure as to what they stand for, therefore, there’s no wonder there’s an incongruence between words and actions. With a lack of character, you know how people are defining themselves?

INTENTIONS.

Most of the time, these intentions are good as well. However, how many times have you become harmed by someone’s “good” intentions?

So what do you do? In a crazy age, how do you take the confusion out of relationships? It’s actually pretty simple: just look at actions.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries - Part II (Identity) | San Diego Therapy

Boundaries and identity complement one another. Better knowing yourself allows you to set healthily boundaries; setting healthier boundaries allows you to know your true self.

· Decreased stress and insecurity

· Increased energy and confidence

How to Set Healthy Boundaries – Part 1 (Awareness) | Therapy in San Diego

When asking a couple what they want to achieve in therapy, you know what the #1 answer is? Communication. It’s often said, “This person never communicates to me.” But here’s the thing. We’re always communicating. Always.

The text you don’t send; the eye contact you’ve chosen to avoid; the time you choose to not express your thoughts. That’s all a message that you’re communicating to someone else.

3 Steps To Building Your Identity | Therapy in San Diego

In my previous blog, I said that it’s vital that you have a vision of your true identity. And while I’d never shoot down your lunar dreams, I also want to do a caution with identity. It’s completely human to set unrealistic goals for yourself. So as you begin to hone in on experiencing your authentic identity, I want to give you tips. You’ve got to keep things, 1) small, 2) consistent, and 3) sustainable.

These words are not sexy.

I get it.

Dan’s Blog