Your Terracotta Moment | San Diego Therapy

Have you ever repotted a plant?
It’s an odd little ritual.

Sometimes the roots slip right out—clean, easy, cooperative.
But other times, the plant’s withered fingers grasp the pot’s interior for dear life. You must pre-water the soil, pry gently along the edges, coaxing it loose. Eventually, you cup the plant’s wispy buttocks and lift—presenting it to the world like a baby Simba. (At least, that’s how I do it.)

The contrast is apparent.
Above soil: vibrant greenery, stretching toward the light.
Below: a web of roots, tangled and clumped dusty computer cables.
The plant looks alive and wants to expand, but there’s literally no room for growth. It’s been stuck—unable to grow—perhaps for a long time.

anxiety, attachment, Boundaries, consciousness, couples therapy, internal family systems, identity, San Diego Couples Therapy, spiral dynamics, self-talk, self-esteem, trauma, san diego therapy, north county therapyDan LoneyFebruary 17, 2026San Diego Individual Therapy, therapy for men in san diego, san diego therapy

Take the Confusion Out of Relationships | Couples Therapy San Diego

We are living in an age of poor values, capricious words, and large egos. People aren’t as sure as to what they stand for, therefore, there’s no wonder there’s an incongruence between words and actions. With a lack of character, you know how people are defining themselves?

INTENTIONS.

Most of the time, these intentions are good as well. However, how many times have you become harmed by someone’s “good” intentions?

So what do you do? In a crazy age, how do you take the confusion out of relationships? It’s actually pretty simple: just look at actions.

couples therapy, internal family systems, north county therapy, relationships, San Diego Couples Therapy, san diego therapy, schema therapy, self-esteem, self-talk, spiral dynamics, EFTDan LoneySeptember 28, 2019

Dating: Values vs. Preferences | Couples Therapy San Diego

Dating has gotten complex to say the least. And while there’s never a simple solution to complex issues, I’ll propose a starting place: I’d like to clarify Values vs. Preferences. Especially in Western society, it’s culturally validated to treat dates, relationships, and marriages according to desired preferences as opposed to inherent values.

Value (n): the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
Preference (n): a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.

schema therapy, attachment, couples therapy, EFT, San Diego Couples Therapy, san diego therapy, self-esteem, BoundariesDan LoneyAugust 11, 2019dating, relationships, values, preferences

How to Set Healthy Boundaries - Part II (Identity) | San Diego Therapy

Boundaries and identity complement one another. Better knowing yourself allows you to set healthily boundaries; setting healthier boundaries allows you to know your true self.

· Decreased stress and insecurity

· Increased energy and confidence

Boundaries, attachment, consciousness, couples therapy, Personality Disorders, north county therapy, internal family systems, identity, san diego therapy, San Diego Couples Therapy, schema therapy, spiral dynamics, unstuck, self-talkDan LoneyMay 19, 2019

3 Steps To Building Your Identity | Therapy in San Diego

In my previous blog, I said that it’s vital that you have a vision of your true identity. And while I’d never shoot down your lunar dreams, I also want to do a caution with identity. It’s completely human to set unrealistic goals for yourself. So as you begin to hone in on experiencing your authentic identity, I want to give you tips. You’ve got to keep things, 1) small, 2) consistent, and 3) sustainable.

These words are not sexy.

I get it.

anxiety, attachment, Boundaries, consciousness, couples therapy, north county therapy, internal family systems, San Diego Couples Therapy, Personality Disorders, san diego therapy, schema therapy, self-esteem, schema, self-talk, spiral dynamicsDan LoneyMarch 9, 2019

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