At Capacity

It was the early 2000s and I was at a Denny’s.

I remember the waiter gave us some styrofoam boxes to pack our leftovers. We were confused. The waiter said their new policy was to have customers pack their leftovers. Soon after, this trend was everywhere.

The process of offloading energy, service, and cost to customers has only been increasing. Last week was another first for me: 3% fee for a credit card… for servicing my car! From every angle we’re being commoditized.

Without our consent, we’ve had to pick up the pieces—but we’ve got limits on what our souls can handle. Each added responsibility increases pressure within. Everyone feels it.

The bottom line?

People are at capacity.

Your Terracotta Moment | San Diego Therapy

Have you ever repotted a plant?
It’s an odd little ritual.

Sometimes the roots slip right out—clean, easy, cooperative.
But other times, the plant’s withered fingers grasp the pot’s interior for dear life. You must pre-water the soil, pry gently along the edges, coaxing it loose. Eventually, you cup the plant’s wispy buttocks and lift—presenting it to the world like a baby Simba. (At least, that’s how I do it.)

The contrast is apparent.
Above soil: vibrant greenery, stretching toward the light.
Below: a web of roots, tangled and clumped dusty computer cables.
The plant looks alive and wants to expand, but there’s literally no room for growth. It’s been stuck—unable to grow—perhaps for a long time.

Therapy for Men in San Diego | Anxiety, Burnout & Identity Work

Men’s issues are rarely spoken about. If put in the open, they’re often not taken seriously or even made fun of. On top of that, they’re evolving.

What worked in the past is outdated. A few decades ago, the primary role of a man was to provide and protect. Now there’s role confusion.

As a therapist for men’s issues in San Diego and a telehealth therapist, I often see this pattern: even if a man is checking off all the boxes, there’s still a feeling that prevails…it’s still not enough.

Dan’s Blog